Not Again

I don't know what's happening to me. It happened again. Yeap, I got attacked by a spirit last night, again. This is my third time. It's the kind of physical attack or where an evil spirit just come and rasuk you or something. The first two "attacks" were kinda like binding me in my dream. It's where I have this terrible nightmare about something, then suddenly my heart starts pumping faster and faster, and I begin to sweat. Usually when you get nightmares, you can just wake up from your sleep. But I can't. When I try to wake up from that dream, something just binds me in that dream, "it" stops me from waking up. I yell, "God, save me!" I need to do that for quite a number of times only then I can awaken from those dreams and when I'm awake, I'm saying, "God, save me!" It's kinda like "something" is binding me. Joel said it's incubus - sex demon. Kinda funny but darn, it's scary.

And last night's case was I had this dream, where I was in this playground and stuff. I knew some people in the dream. One of them suddenly started challenging my faith. She's kinda like forcing me to doubt my faith. Then suddenly I was kinda like in this room with a very high roof. And then the person looked terrifying and said, "Jesus doesn't exist!" I asked for proof and she pointed to this dark wall, with a mural on it and at the side was a guy's picture which I can't see properly. I don't know what's on the mural, so I wanted to switch on the light. When I turned on the switch, I woke up with my heart racing. I was terrified.

All these "attacks" happen to me because I LET them happen to me. I've been allowing the devil to work in me through music, through the internet, through my thoughts. What do I mean? Music which influences my mind, my emotions. Actually, ALL types of music influence one in many ways, usually the emotion. But it seems the songs I'm listening to now is influencing every aspect of my life, emotionally, and spiritually. I allow the internet to take control of me, to waste time online, away from God. What I thought was right, what I thought that would please God, it is not pleasing God. I've let my mind wander through many thoughts that gives the devil a loophole to enter in. These are my mistakes. Means Jon, more devotion time, less of everything.

I'm still having an aftermath of that dream. God forgive me =(.

All these experiences are to remind me to repent, so repent.